some thoughts on Psalm 139
I hope this makes sense. I tend to think about things by talking about them, and since there's no one home tonight, the blog will have to do! It will probably make alot more sense to you if you read Psalm 139. It would make the blog too long to put the whole thing in here :).
We're doing a study on ten important chapters in the Bible in our community group, and it's been really participative and good. I love hearing other people's insights on a passage of scripture that open it up in new ways to me. Phill is leading the discussion, and one of the things that he does that I really like is that he has us read the chapter out loud in several different translations so we can really let it sink in.
Tonight was Psalm 139. Most people I know think about the beautiful parts of this Psalm that are encouraging reminders of God's love and His hand in our creation. Here are some phrases from The Message:
"I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too--
your reassuring presence, coming and going."
"you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God--you're breathtaking!
body and soul, I am marvelously made!"
"You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something..."
Beautiful, no?
If only the Psalm ended there. We try to make it end there. We cut it off at verse 18, or at least we skim over verses 19-21 to get straight to the end, where David decides to play nice again.
Here are wierd verses: Psalm 139:19-22 from The Message (emphasis mine)
"And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers--out of here!--
all the men and women who belittle you, God,
infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I HATE those who hate you, God,
See how I LOATHE all this godless arrogance.
I HATE IT WITH PURE UNADULTERATED HATRED.
Your enemies are my enemies.
Embroider THAT on a pillow and put some lace around it!
I have always tried hard to explain it away, that he actually hates the sin but not the person. That it's righteous anger because he hates those who hate God. It doesn't work. The Message actually softens it a little from some other translations. The hatred, directed toward people, is there, and you can't hide it.
One of the first lessons I remember learning is that you should never, ever, ever hate a person. I don't even remember where I learned it. It was the one phrase in my house that would get you in trouble quicker than any other.
How does this reconcile with what Jesus said? Love your enemies, love your enemies, love your enemies. Over and over, in word and action, this message screams off of the page of the Gospels. As Jesus died a cruel death, He asked His Father to forgive the people who hated him.
A few months ago I read a book by Phillip Yancey about the Old Testament, and his thoughts on the Psalms help alot. This is poetry here, not doctrine. The psalmist wasn't trying to write out lessons for behavior here--he was pouring out his heart. This is what he really felt, and after all, since God knows everything about him, why not get it out in the open? This is poetry, not law. This is prayer, conversation, not doctrine.
This is David's heart, open and bare.
I've always thought this strange "hate the wicked" passage was tacked onto the end for no apparent reason, but in this new "open and bare" light, maybe not. It changes the whole tone of the poem. Rather than being a lofty praise with some random hate thrown in, maybe everything written before is leading up to this raw and ugly point.
What if David isn't saying all this stuff (about how God searches him and knows him and he can't escape from him) for comfort? What if he's actually scared out of his wits?
"Such knowledge is too wonderful for me!"
I saw Psalm 139 in a different light tonight. To be honest, I got no comfort from it. Bonnie decided it should be titled "Prayers of a Troubled Man." I think that hits the mark. David had come to the point that he had to acknowledge that nothing could hide from God. He had tried and failed. And in the end, he opened his heart to God and laid out all the nasty, ugly, feelings inside of him, out in the open. Here it is, God. You see it anyway--you've seen it all along.
What if the whole Psalm, rather than being about comfort, is more about confession? It makes sense with the way David ends the poem/prayer:
" Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong--
then guide me on the road to eternal life."
This comes directly after the hate verses. No break, no smooth transition. Investigate me. If this is wrong, don't let me get away with it.
It starts and ends with God knowing everything. The good and the bad, the before and the after, the comfort and the hate.
This, intellectually, makes sense to me. I love poetry and I love trying to see it in as many lights as possible. I think the Psalms are a wonderful wonderful work of art.
Tonight it hit home on a deeper level. As we were reading, this verse stuck out to me:
"See how I HATE those who hate you, God,
See how I LOATHE all this godless arrogance.
I HATE IT WITH PURE UNADULTERATED HATRED"
My first thought? "Man! David can be pretty arrogant himself!"
And then I hit the search me verses. Do I have the guts to ask God to search me? Do I have the guts to acknowledge what God already sees? How arrogant am I?
It's easy to get into a pattern of finding people to blame for what's wrong: angry at some Christians for skewing the gospel and making the church into a political institution rather than a community, angry at others for picking and choosing which pet sins to make into huge issues while ignoring others, angry at still others for coming into the community with a "serve-me" attitude. Angry at the people who say that it's all about grace and then tell me what I have to do to make God love me. Angry at racism in the name of God, angry at pride in the name of God, angry oppression in the name of God, the list goes on and on. Someone needs to set these people straight!
I've been angry alot, evidently. I can hear my heart right along with David's, my second verse to Psalm 139.
See how righteous I am, God? See how I get it? See how I can't stand that kind of person? See how much freer I am than them? See how much better I follow you? See how I don't associate myself with that?
See me, see me, see me. Look at me.
Ugly on paper, right?
He sees me, alright. He's been looking.
It's a beautiful but INCREDIBLY scary thing to realize that God sees. Really sees. Beyond just what I show Him. Before I was born He knew. He sees.
Scary that He sees, and that He is God.
Beautiful that He sees, and he is God.
After all, he saw it before He created me and He went ahead and created me anyway.
Search me. Investigate me.
I felt a new kinship with David the perhaps manic depressive man after God's heart tonight. Tonight, I pray Psalm 139 to the God that sees me with new ears and new eyes, with old words in a new light.
And along with David, I pray,
"Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong--
then guide me on the road to everlasting life."
Amen.
We're doing a study on ten important chapters in the Bible in our community group, and it's been really participative and good. I love hearing other people's insights on a passage of scripture that open it up in new ways to me. Phill is leading the discussion, and one of the things that he does that I really like is that he has us read the chapter out loud in several different translations so we can really let it sink in.
Tonight was Psalm 139. Most people I know think about the beautiful parts of this Psalm that are encouraging reminders of God's love and His hand in our creation. Here are some phrases from The Message:
"I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too--
your reassuring presence, coming and going."
"you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God--you're breathtaking!
body and soul, I am marvelously made!"
"You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something..."
Beautiful, no?
If only the Psalm ended there. We try to make it end there. We cut it off at verse 18, or at least we skim over verses 19-21 to get straight to the end, where David decides to play nice again.
Here are wierd verses: Psalm 139:19-22 from The Message (emphasis mine)
"And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers--out of here!--
all the men and women who belittle you, God,
infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I HATE those who hate you, God,
See how I LOATHE all this godless arrogance.
I HATE IT WITH PURE UNADULTERATED HATRED.
Your enemies are my enemies.
Embroider THAT on a pillow and put some lace around it!
I have always tried hard to explain it away, that he actually hates the sin but not the person. That it's righteous anger because he hates those who hate God. It doesn't work. The Message actually softens it a little from some other translations. The hatred, directed toward people, is there, and you can't hide it.
One of the first lessons I remember learning is that you should never, ever, ever hate a person. I don't even remember where I learned it. It was the one phrase in my house that would get you in trouble quicker than any other.
How does this reconcile with what Jesus said? Love your enemies, love your enemies, love your enemies. Over and over, in word and action, this message screams off of the page of the Gospels. As Jesus died a cruel death, He asked His Father to forgive the people who hated him.
A few months ago I read a book by Phillip Yancey about the Old Testament, and his thoughts on the Psalms help alot. This is poetry here, not doctrine. The psalmist wasn't trying to write out lessons for behavior here--he was pouring out his heart. This is what he really felt, and after all, since God knows everything about him, why not get it out in the open? This is poetry, not law. This is prayer, conversation, not doctrine.
This is David's heart, open and bare.
I've always thought this strange "hate the wicked" passage was tacked onto the end for no apparent reason, but in this new "open and bare" light, maybe not. It changes the whole tone of the poem. Rather than being a lofty praise with some random hate thrown in, maybe everything written before is leading up to this raw and ugly point.
What if David isn't saying all this stuff (about how God searches him and knows him and he can't escape from him) for comfort? What if he's actually scared out of his wits?
"Such knowledge is too wonderful for me!"
I saw Psalm 139 in a different light tonight. To be honest, I got no comfort from it. Bonnie decided it should be titled "Prayers of a Troubled Man." I think that hits the mark. David had come to the point that he had to acknowledge that nothing could hide from God. He had tried and failed. And in the end, he opened his heart to God and laid out all the nasty, ugly, feelings inside of him, out in the open. Here it is, God. You see it anyway--you've seen it all along.
What if the whole Psalm, rather than being about comfort, is more about confession? It makes sense with the way David ends the poem/prayer:
" Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong--
then guide me on the road to eternal life."
This comes directly after the hate verses. No break, no smooth transition. Investigate me. If this is wrong, don't let me get away with it.
It starts and ends with God knowing everything. The good and the bad, the before and the after, the comfort and the hate.
This, intellectually, makes sense to me. I love poetry and I love trying to see it in as many lights as possible. I think the Psalms are a wonderful wonderful work of art.
Tonight it hit home on a deeper level. As we were reading, this verse stuck out to me:
"See how I HATE those who hate you, God,
See how I LOATHE all this godless arrogance.
I HATE IT WITH PURE UNADULTERATED HATRED"
My first thought? "Man! David can be pretty arrogant himself!"
And then I hit the search me verses. Do I have the guts to ask God to search me? Do I have the guts to acknowledge what God already sees? How arrogant am I?
It's easy to get into a pattern of finding people to blame for what's wrong: angry at some Christians for skewing the gospel and making the church into a political institution rather than a community, angry at others for picking and choosing which pet sins to make into huge issues while ignoring others, angry at still others for coming into the community with a "serve-me" attitude. Angry at the people who say that it's all about grace and then tell me what I have to do to make God love me. Angry at racism in the name of God, angry at pride in the name of God, angry oppression in the name of God, the list goes on and on. Someone needs to set these people straight!
I've been angry alot, evidently. I can hear my heart right along with David's, my second verse to Psalm 139.
See how righteous I am, God? See how I get it? See how I can't stand that kind of person? See how much freer I am than them? See how much better I follow you? See how I don't associate myself with that?
See me, see me, see me. Look at me.
Ugly on paper, right?
He sees me, alright. He's been looking.
It's a beautiful but INCREDIBLY scary thing to realize that God sees. Really sees. Beyond just what I show Him. Before I was born He knew. He sees.
Scary that He sees, and that He is God.
Beautiful that He sees, and he is God.
After all, he saw it before He created me and He went ahead and created me anyway.
Search me. Investigate me.
I felt a new kinship with David the perhaps manic depressive man after God's heart tonight. Tonight, I pray Psalm 139 to the God that sees me with new ears and new eyes, with old words in a new light.
And along with David, I pray,
"Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong--
then guide me on the road to everlasting life."
Amen.
posted by kelly_w at 8:09 PM
11 comments
