Monday, April 11, 2005

The Magic Touch

ok--first of all, i meant to add this entry last thursday, but i evidently broke blogger. add that to the list.....

What is it about not having a computer that makes me want to blog? Heather, I don't know how you survived 3 whole months without the internet. I almost didn't survive 4 days without my computer. I think that may make me a nerd. Oh well, no surprise there. I think it may have something to do with the fact that my computer is also my stereo, my dvd player, and my phone as well. Hmmmm.....how predictable of me--even my computer multitasks!!!!

Anyway, now is the time to make a list of all the things I broke between Friday and Tuesday.
1) The flower off of my cactus--maybe I was venting some rage at the fakeness of it.
2) The top of my cactus--this one was definitely intentional. I did it with scissors. It's real, by the way, but I think I killed part of it when I cut it open.
3) The bag that held my kebab. The sauce dissolved the bag and it fell through the bottom. Just in time for Troy, Heather, and the family to pull up in the car in front of St. Louis University and wonder at the grieved expression on my face. Once they got out of the car and saw the meaty mess, they were no longer wondering. They had moved on to trying to hold in laughter at least until they could tell that I wasn't too upset and I wouldn't be mad at them for laughing. They put forth a pretty good effort. I would have laughed much sooner if it had been one of them.
4) My kebab. When I showed it who was boss by picking the dirt off and eating it anyway. I was really hungry, and it had a paper wrapper that was fairly intact. It was quite a bit granier than usual, though.
5) My computer. I don't know what I did. It just decided it hated me Saturday night, and thus began the long saga of trying everything we knew, making a boot disk, figuring out that didn't work, buying an adaptor, copying lots of files, and restoring the system....because of the genius of a few friends, my files were saved and the lappy is functional again. I owe you guys a billion euros, or dollars, depending on your current residence. And one day you might just get one of those billion. Or a pastry.
6) The clasp to my coffee jar--only slightly less traumatizing than the computer.
7) My shoe. I was walking to the Crulls' flat to drop off my computer into Kelly's more capable hands (even if he is a mac freak), and by the time I got there I had developed a large hole in my shoe, where I had just sowed it back together 3 days earlier. Stupid cheap thread.
8) The lid to the Crulls' superglue bottle. --when I decided to try to be miss fix-it and get a little more wear out of the shoes.
9) The skin on my finger, when I superglued it to the inside of my shoe.
10) My shoe again, when the hole redeveloped at 11 that night. I think I've gotten my 1 euro's worth out of them.


I hope that's it. I can't think of anything else. After writing it out, I'm kind of afraid to touch anything ever again! That should make for an interesting life.......

Friday, April 01, 2005

I am an April Fool

So today, I believed an April fools' day joke for a whole 5 minutes. I was convinced a friend of mine had set fire to her kitchen, and was having my own little moral dilemma of whether or not we could move her party to my apartment tonight. So as I am sitting here feeling all sorry for her and trying to figure out if I can have things clean enough for a party by eight, she and a couple other friends are laughing their heads off! You got me, Marianna.

This was the first joke. The second one is the one that makes me feel slightly more stupid.

My friend Matt #1 gave me a cactus with cute pink flowers on it for my birthday last June. We named it Jeremy. He said he gave me the cactus because he was pretty sure that was the only thing I could keep alive--I wasn't offended because he was right! I have kept the cactus alive all year...watering it every once in a while. It never gets any bigger, but it doesn't look brown and the flowers are still there and still hot pink. It's a resilient little plant.

Somehow I have a violet that has looked like it's about to die but has hung on the edge since last Easter. I'm pretty good at keeping bamboo alive, but that's just because you don't have to do anything. Even though it's just a cactus, I have to say I have been pretty proud of myself that Jeremy the cactus has looked so good all year. Until today.

Today, Victoria and Kris were commenting on the pink flowers on my cactus and how weird they were. Victoria said "Kelly, why do you have fake flowers on your cactus?"

I thought she was joking because, well, she's just like that. It's something she would say.

"No, really, Kelly. These are fake. They are held on by glue. Look!"

And so they are. Just to be sure, I pulled one of them off. No stem, no real connection. It looks like they used rubber cement. Now I'm wondering about the whole cactus. It hasn't gotten any bigger in a year--is the whole thing fake? The dirt is real. How do you test the authenticity of a cactus without cutting it in half and killing it?

I am an April fool.