Dolly Parton's guitar case (sort of)
So yet again, I have a story of something that could only happen to me. My annoyance is starting to wear off, and I'm realizing the humor of it. But oh, what a day.
Or should I say what a couple of days? It all started last week when I stopped by Cate's music to pick up my flight case for Blue (my guitar). I know, I know, I shouldn't have waited until the last minute to get it, but there were so many online that I thought it would just be a matter of going into the store and laying down some cash to get a flight case. Not so lucky, I'm afraid. "No worries," said the guy behind the counter. "Gator Cases ships out of Chattanooga, so it will be here in 1 or 2 days." I breathed a sigh of relief and went on my way.
Well, one or two days somehow turned into 5, and on Friday afternoon the case finally came in. Things were going well. But then when I went to pick up the case, it was the wrong one. It was just a regular flimsy case and not the flight case I needed. Two days away from leaving for Madrid, I had no way to get Blue on the plane without it landing in Spain in 10,000 pieces. It might have been ok, but "might" is a pretty big chance to take with a guitar you love. Of course, the more I thought about it, the flimsier my case started looking to me (not that it had far to go), until I was almost in a blind panic about protecting Blue.
I began calling around that afternoon, starting with every music store in Johnson City, then Kingsport, then Bristol. No such luck. I tried every music store in (1 hour away)Knoxville (there are about 20). Not one had a flight case in stock. Asheville and Boone, North Carolina, the same. I was close to (or maybe past) tears by 5:00, and still no luck. Blue was doomed to either stay here or fly home in a pillowcase. And then I remembered hearing about a little place in Weber City, a 3 stoplight town about 30 minutes from my sister's house. It's called "Lazy Time Pickin' Parlor." Supposedly, it's one of the best bluegrass shops nearby. And believe me, there are tons.
So, with nothing to lose, I picked up the phone. The voice on the other line was....well, it was what you'd expect from the owner of the Lazy Time Pickin' Parlor. I started on my little script, which was memorized by then, asking if they carried flight cases for acoustic guitars. Three separate times the man had to say "Honey, speak up. I can't hear you for nothin'." The third time I shouted back "FLIGHT CASES FOR GUITARS." His reply was not what I was expecting.
"Naw, honey. We ain't got any white cases. They's all dark."
I kid you not.
"NO!" I responded. "FLIGHT! LIKE ON A PLANE!"
"Oh, you mean one a them padded cases? Yeah, we got them."
They were closed for the night, so this morning my dad and I set off for the Pickin' Parlor. We found it with little trouble, and as we got out it felt like we were walking into the set of Deliverance (cue banjos). About 10 or 15 old men (and one woman with a baby) were sitting outside of the shop talking, instrument cases under a few of their seats. The stared unabashedly in silence as a young female with a guitar (me) strode toward them. When I reached the porch, one of them broke into a grin.
"Well, boys, we have us a mandolin and a banjo, now it looks like we got us a guitar player!" (Guitar is pronounced with the emphasis on the first syllable---GITTar)
I made it through and into the store, and the man I had talked to the night before proceeded to show me the two padded gig bags that he had in the back room. That was it. Oh well, no case. But it was worth the trip.
Back on the road, back to the computer to look up guitar case dealers, back on the phone. By this point I was looking in a 100 mile radius of where I'm staying, and still no luck. Almost at the point of desperation, I called some little shop (I've already forgotten the name) on the other side of Asheville, North Carolina--an hour and a half away.
Larry answered the phone, and no, he didn't carry those in the store. "But wait," he said. "I have an Anvil guitar case sitting at home. I don't know if it'll work, but it looks like a dang coffin. I used it back in the 80's when I toured with Dolly Parton, but I don't tour any more. I might be convinced to sell it."
Toured with Dolly Parton? Was this guy serious? But at this point, I was desperate. Feeling like I was running out of choices, I said I would go meet him and see if my guitar fit in the case. Two hours later, there I was in the Food Lion parking lot outside of Asheville, buying a case that really did look like a "dang coffin" from the back of this guy's wife's car.
It's not exactly what I was planning to have. It's a little too---professional? It's huge and square, and incredibly padded--my guitar will travel more comfortably than I will. The outside is pretty beat up, and covered with bumper stickers from Dolly Parton's glory days--all singing the praises of bluegrass music and Martin guitars (which I don't have). Two of the stickers had to go because of offensive content, but I think I'll leave the others. I'll have to get a gig bag or something to carry the thing around in Madrid; there's no way this thing is going on the metro. But if nothing else, it will get to Spain. With a case that has toured with Dolly Parton.
This story is going to get lots of mileage. Pictures soon.
Or should I say what a couple of days? It all started last week when I stopped by Cate's music to pick up my flight case for Blue (my guitar). I know, I know, I shouldn't have waited until the last minute to get it, but there were so many online that I thought it would just be a matter of going into the store and laying down some cash to get a flight case. Not so lucky, I'm afraid. "No worries," said the guy behind the counter. "Gator Cases ships out of Chattanooga, so it will be here in 1 or 2 days." I breathed a sigh of relief and went on my way.
Well, one or two days somehow turned into 5, and on Friday afternoon the case finally came in. Things were going well. But then when I went to pick up the case, it was the wrong one. It was just a regular flimsy case and not the flight case I needed. Two days away from leaving for Madrid, I had no way to get Blue on the plane without it landing in Spain in 10,000 pieces. It might have been ok, but "might" is a pretty big chance to take with a guitar you love. Of course, the more I thought about it, the flimsier my case started looking to me (not that it had far to go), until I was almost in a blind panic about protecting Blue.
I began calling around that afternoon, starting with every music store in Johnson City, then Kingsport, then Bristol. No such luck. I tried every music store in (1 hour away)Knoxville (there are about 20). Not one had a flight case in stock. Asheville and Boone, North Carolina, the same. I was close to (or maybe past) tears by 5:00, and still no luck. Blue was doomed to either stay here or fly home in a pillowcase. And then I remembered hearing about a little place in Weber City, a 3 stoplight town about 30 minutes from my sister's house. It's called "Lazy Time Pickin' Parlor." Supposedly, it's one of the best bluegrass shops nearby. And believe me, there are tons.
So, with nothing to lose, I picked up the phone. The voice on the other line was....well, it was what you'd expect from the owner of the Lazy Time Pickin' Parlor. I started on my little script, which was memorized by then, asking if they carried flight cases for acoustic guitars. Three separate times the man had to say "Honey, speak up. I can't hear you for nothin'." The third time I shouted back "FLIGHT CASES FOR GUITARS." His reply was not what I was expecting.
"Naw, honey. We ain't got any white cases. They's all dark."
I kid you not.
"NO!" I responded. "FLIGHT! LIKE ON A PLANE!"
"Oh, you mean one a them padded cases? Yeah, we got them."
They were closed for the night, so this morning my dad and I set off for the Pickin' Parlor. We found it with little trouble, and as we got out it felt like we were walking into the set of Deliverance (cue banjos). About 10 or 15 old men (and one woman with a baby) were sitting outside of the shop talking, instrument cases under a few of their seats. The stared unabashedly in silence as a young female with a guitar (me) strode toward them. When I reached the porch, one of them broke into a grin.
"Well, boys, we have us a mandolin and a banjo, now it looks like we got us a guitar player!" (Guitar is pronounced with the emphasis on the first syllable---GITTar)
I made it through and into the store, and the man I had talked to the night before proceeded to show me the two padded gig bags that he had in the back room. That was it. Oh well, no case. But it was worth the trip.
Back on the road, back to the computer to look up guitar case dealers, back on the phone. By this point I was looking in a 100 mile radius of where I'm staying, and still no luck. Almost at the point of desperation, I called some little shop (I've already forgotten the name) on the other side of Asheville, North Carolina--an hour and a half away.
Larry answered the phone, and no, he didn't carry those in the store. "But wait," he said. "I have an Anvil guitar case sitting at home. I don't know if it'll work, but it looks like a dang coffin. I used it back in the 80's when I toured with Dolly Parton, but I don't tour any more. I might be convinced to sell it."
Toured with Dolly Parton? Was this guy serious? But at this point, I was desperate. Feeling like I was running out of choices, I said I would go meet him and see if my guitar fit in the case. Two hours later, there I was in the Food Lion parking lot outside of Asheville, buying a case that really did look like a "dang coffin" from the back of this guy's wife's car.
It's not exactly what I was planning to have. It's a little too---professional? It's huge and square, and incredibly padded--my guitar will travel more comfortably than I will. The outside is pretty beat up, and covered with bumper stickers from Dolly Parton's glory days--all singing the praises of bluegrass music and Martin guitars (which I don't have). Two of the stickers had to go because of offensive content, but I think I'll leave the others. I'll have to get a gig bag or something to carry the thing around in Madrid; there's no way this thing is going on the metro. But if nothing else, it will get to Spain. With a case that has toured with Dolly Parton.
This story is going to get lots of mileage. Pictures soon.
posted by kelly_w at 7:56 PM
1 Comments:
So you know I'm not big on reading blogs but I read your story and loved it- I laughed out loud so many times. I especially loved the parts about the deliverence place and the guy who sold you your gitt-ar case! I was so inspired that I read all of your stories back through July 9th. You truly are a talented writer! Mocos y Besos!
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